The Profound Impact of Kindness: A Chance Encounter in an Elevator
Written on
Chapter 1: An Unexpected Compliment
The elevator doors slid open to reveal a man already inside. I offered a polite nod, avoiding eye contact and mentally noting that I didn't recognize him. We were descending from the 28th floor of our apartment building in Ho Chi Minh City.
"I noticed you the other day," he said, causing a flicker of anxiety to cross my mind. What had he seen?
Three years later, I find myself reflecting on that moment. "I’ve seen you a few times. You always greet everyone, especially the staff. It brightens their day, and I wanted you to know that you've inspired me to do the same," he continued.
Until then, I hadn’t appreciated the impact of my small gestures. I often greeted the cleaning and service personnel around my home, using the appropriate Vietnamese expressions even if I didn't know their names. In Vietnamese culture, addressing someone requires specific terms based on their gender and age.
Some of the world’s most effective leaders emphasize the importance of taking a genuine interest in others. Personally, I find joy in making people smile, but it wasn’t until that encounter that I began to understand why.
Childhood Reflections
My own childhood was far from joyful. It was a challenging time filled with bullying and isolation. Many children might share similar stories, but I truly understand what it feels like to be invisible.
Perhaps I’m transforming my past wounds into wisdom for the future, or perhaps I’m merely comforting myself with hopeful lies. I’m still working on understanding this.
Confronting Snobbery
I've witnessed how some people talk down to those they perceive as beneath them. It's a cowardly act to yell at individuals who are obliged to remain silent. This behavior is not unique to Vietnam; it happens everywhere.
Society often looks down on low-wage workers, and it’s frustrating to see how people's treatment of others can be dictated by narrow views of status and income. I find this utterly unacceptable.
Being courteous costs nothing, just as rudeness does. While neither requires payment, kindness and good manners offer rewards that are far more valuable—especially if you consider happiness as a form of wealth.
I often find myself in delightful, spontaneous situations that others might overlook, simply because I choose to see opportunities for connection and kindness. I believe most people are inherently kind, and I’m willing to maintain that belief even if I occasionally misjudge.
Removing Distractions
Even in situations where people aren’t overtly rude, they often seem preoccupied. How frequently do we see someone at the checkout counter still wearing headphones? Or staring at their phones while making a transaction?
We forget that everyone deserves to be treated as a person. In our haste, we overlook the simple joys of interaction.
Why are we always in such a rush? Why do we react harshly to mistakes we ourselves might make? We need to spend less time in our digital worlds and more time appreciating the beauty around us.
When I received that compliment, it struck a chord with me. We often adopt the roles others assign us, whether consciously or not. If I tell you you're kind, you’re more likely to embrace that identity.
I’ve witnessed loved ones become kinder as their efforts are acknowledged. Validation fosters a desire to continue those positive actions. Conversely, constant criticism can breed hostility.
What kind of impact do you wish to have on the world? Many of us are so focused on trying to change society at large that we overlook the influence we can exert within our own communities.
Gratitude for a Kind Stranger
I am thankful to the man in the elevator. His perception of me made me more conscious of how I wish to be perceived by others. Perhaps I should be more like him and express gratitude to those who have influenced me positively.
In life, we have choices: we can complain about others or we can embody the principles we believe in and inspire change. I choose the latter.
Who knows? Maybe you, dear reader, will be inspired to do the same—not because of my words, but because of a kind stranger in an elevator in Ho Chi Minh City, a man I have never encountered again.
If he had not shared his thoughts, I wouldn’t be penning this reflection. His influence may reach further than he ever imagined. If I cross paths with him again, I will certainly let him know.