Understanding Autism: Should You Discuss the Diagnosis with Your Child?
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Chapter 1: The Diagnosis Journey
You may have noticed that your child behaves differently from their peers, leading you to seek a professional evaluation. After assessments, a doctor confirms that your child is on the autism spectrum. While you may have had suspicions, receiving a formal diagnosis can bring about a wave of emotions. To navigate this, you might consider exploring literature or connecting with online communities for guidance. However, an important question arises: should your child be informed about their diagnosis?
Telling a child they have autism is a nuanced issue. While some might argue that ignorance is bliss—allowing them to continue without the burden of a label—there’s a possibility that as they grow, particularly during their teenage years, they may start to notice differences and wonder about their identity. This curiosity could lead to feelings of inadequacy or distress. While consulting with their psychologist can provide insight, you are the best judge of your child’s readiness for this conversation. It’s also possible that you might believe it’s a beneficial step, only to be met with an unexpected reaction that leaves you questioning your decision.
Based on my experience, I recommend discussing the diagnosis with your child around the age of 10. Initially, they might struggle with this new information, but acceptance typically follows. It’s crucial to frame the conversation positively, highlighting not just the challenges autism may present, but also the unique strengths it can bestow. Hearing the diagnosis can be daunting, but viewing it through a constructive lens can make the transition smoother. Personally, I found relief in understanding my autism; it provided clarity to the complexities of my thoughts and behaviors.
Understanding my diagnosis empowered me to address various challenges associated with autism. Since the age of 14, I have been fascinated by autism and have dedicated myself to learning about it. Although I received my diagnosis at 19, my awareness began earlier when I observed similarities between my behaviors and those of a friend on the spectrum. I often engaged in self-soothing behaviors, like joint popping and hand flapping, and realizing I wasn’t alone in these habits helped normalize them for me. I began to observe both autistic and non-autistic individuals in different environments, like school and even Walmart, which certainly raised eyebrows. However, these observations were part of my learning process. While I embrace most aspects of my autism, I sought to understand the behaviors that might be perceived negatively and worked on managing them. Without the knowledge of my autism, I might have struggled more with these behaviors.
Chapter 2: The Importance of Transparency
The first video titled "How and When to Tell Your Child They're Autistic" discusses strategies for approaching this sensitive topic, offering advice on timing and method.
As I grew older, my autism became less visible, and most people would not recognize it unless I disclosed it. This disclosure is one of the reasons I advocate for informing your child. Understanding their diagnosis can help them articulate their differences to peers, fostering acceptance and understanding. This openness can lead to stronger friendships, as peers may be more empathetic when unusual behaviors arise.
As a parent, you possess unique insight into your child’s needs and readiness for this conversation. If they express curiosity about their differences, it’s essential to be honest. Hiding the truth may inadvertently instill a negative perception of their autism, suggesting that it’s something to be ashamed of. Instead, embrace the conversation as an opportunity to explain how autism shapes their identity, including both strengths and challenges. Providing clarity about any difficulties they may face can empower them to understand and potentially overcome these obstacles.
The second video titled "Ask a Parent: When and how do I tell my child they are Autistic?" offers insights from a parent's perspective, discussing the timing and approach for this important conversation.