What Makes Perfectionism Problematic?

Perfectionism is linked to heightened anxiety and the incessant chase of often unrealistic goals. While most individuals would celebrate nearing perfection, the perfectionist's joy is fleeting, overtaken by doubts about replicating success and whether the achievement was sufficient. Anxiety, a natural reaction to perceived threats, manifests through various uncomfortable sensations and thoughts, such as racing hearts and self-doubt. Psychologist Thomas Greenspan identifies anxiety as central to perfectionism, negatively impacting relationships and overall emotional health.

In my practice, clients who identify as perfectionists often resist the idea of lowering their standards. Many seek to enhance their perfection rather than abandon it, believing that their anxiety would dissipate with greater achievements. They grapple with the fear of failure, leading to an overwhelming cycle of worry and rumination over past events. Perfectionists frequently dwell on hypothetical scenarios and constantly monitor for flaws, leading to heightened stress and self-doubt.

Like a self-destructive cycle, perfectionism is mistakenly viewed as essential for success, ignoring its role in fostering anxiety and self-loathing. Actions taken to alleviate anxiety, such as substance use, only perpetuate this cycle. Furthermore, compulsive behaviors, like repeatedly checking work for mistakes, are both a consequence of and a contributor to perfectionism.

Is There a Healthy Side to Perfectionism?

Some researchers argue that a degree of perfectionism can be motivating. This notion, termed "adaptive perfectionism" or "perfectionistic strivings," suggests that a controlled pursuit of excellence can yield positive outcomes. However, merging the concepts of healthy striving with perfectionism creates confusion, leading many to equate the two incorrectly. Greenspon argues against the notion of "healthy perfectionism," asserting that the belief in a divide between healthy and dysfunctional perfectionism is rooted in a misunderstanding of its true nature.

When Perfectionism is Necessary

There are contexts where striving for perfection is crucial. We expect precision from professionals like pilots and surgeons, where accuracy is non-negotiable. Yet, the distinction between the pursuit of excellence and the damaging effects of perfectionism is vital.

Patrick Gaudreau, a researcher from the University of Ottawa, proposes the term "excellencism" to differentiate between healthy ambition and the negative impacts of perfectionism. He highlights that achieving excellence does not require the harsh standards associated with perfectionism.

Gaudreau’s research links perfectionism to anxiety, depression, burnout, procrastination, and suicidal ideation, outlining the extreme expectations typical of perfectionists. He advocates for terminology that distinguishes between the positive aspects of striving for excellence and the adverse effects of perfectionism.

Moving Towards Excellencism

The allure of perfectionistic thinking is ever-present, especially in demanding and competitive environments. Individuals in high-stakes fields, such as sports and the arts, often feel the pressure to deliver flawless performances. For Carmy, the pursuit of perfection becomes an obsession, overshadowing his sense of balance and self-acceptance.

Not everyone who seeks excellence falls into perfectionism. Risk factors include:

• Cultural Influences: Competitive environments that prioritize success above all else can foster perfectionism.
• Family Dynamics: High expectations set by family members can instill perfectionistic traits.
• Innate Tendencies: Individuals with a predisposition to anxiety and self-criticism are more likely to develop perfectionist tendencies.
• Traumatic Experiences: Past traumas may lead individuals to seek perfection as a means of establishing control.

Shifting Perspectives on Perfectionism

Research indicates that externally driven perfectionistic concerns are detrimental. Challenging perfectionism and fostering self-compassion are essential for growth. This shift requires embracing values centered on effort, integrity, and resilience instead of an unyielding quest for success.

Families can combat perfectionism by nurturing an environment that values excellence without imposing severe expectations. Prioritizing effort and progress over perfection can alleviate anxiety and mitigate feelings of self-doubt.

When perfectionism takes root, overcoming it can be challenging. Therapy, including cognitive-behavioral approaches and mindfulness practices, may provide much-needed support.

In a society that venerates high achievers, establishing realistic goals can be daunting. However, it is entirely feasible to pursue both excellence and mental well-being free from the constraints of perfectionism.

Videos to Explore

The first video titled "Perfectionism: Why It's A Vicious Cycle Of Self-Defeat (And How To Break It)" delves into the detrimental nature of perfectionism and offers insights on breaking free from this cycle.

The second video, "Anxiety and Perfectionism: 4 Tips To Heal Perfectionistic Thinking," provides practical strategies to combat perfectionistic tendencies and anxiety.

For further reading on the topic of perfectionism, consider exploring articles that discuss its various aspects and coping mechanisms.