Enduring Shadows: A Poetic Exploration of Inner Turmoil
Written on
Chapter 1: The Nature of Fallout
We do not experience the same fallout. While yours dissipates quickly, mine lingers like atoms charged with nuclear energy, enduring endlessly. As your skin sheds from your bones, this radiation penetrates deep into the soul, drowning it in relentless agony. It transforms fleeting moments into eons and heartbeats into millennia, granting humanity a twisted form of immortality.
Initially, there is silence—the calm of a hurricane's eye, akin to a deer caught in headlights. The mind freezes, and then, like an immovable boulder, you attempt to swallow this comet. Oaths of silence envelop you as the torment of reflection takes hold, propelling you into a forced self-sacrifice.
My dear purgatory, envelop me in dread. One in every twenty thoughts is a desire to obliterate this malignant emotion, while the remaining nineteen echo the judgments of colleagues and friends. We are urged to belittle the broken, those marred by cruelty, and stamped with sorrow.
In moments of despair, I reach for subjects society deems inappropriate to discuss. The blade offers a fleeting relief, a temporary escape into those elusive dopaminergic lifelines. Love is an addiction, and though I have forsaken drugs, I always kept a flicker of flame.
Addicts only endure pain in sobriety; it will forever be a part of my existence, a bittersweet thorn in my flesh, comforting amidst chaos.
Section 1.1: The Small Window of Light
Self-harm becomes a brief glimpse of illumination, casting light into my prison cell. My gaze follows its rays as they slowly shift with the sun’s arc. When words falter, sentence by sentence, letter by letter—after so many years—do you truly expect me to heal? Doesn’t humanity amplify your suffering, regardless of your intentions?
As I age, wisdom eludes me. My tears saturate my skin with blood, ensnared in a fate I did not choose. Ashes never burn hot enoug