Chapter 1: The Illusion of Reality

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) often perceive life as a game, one in which they must always emerge victorious.

The covert malignant narcissist, along with sociopaths and psychopaths, inhabit a distorted reality, one reminiscent of a surreal Wonderland. Their existence is akin to a fantastical performance filled with vibrant colors, extravagant displays, and whimsical adventures.

This world is nothing but a mirage—a constructed fantasy that entraps not only them but also those who become embroiled in their delusions. Many might find it appealing to escape into such an imaginary realm, especially when faced with the harshness of reality. The allure of a blissful existence can be overpowering, much like the mythical Lotus Eaters who indulged in a dreamlike state, forgetting their responsibilities and connections back home.

This shared delusion acts as a potent sedative, leading individuals into a state of dependency where they surrender their autonomy, aspirations, and identity to a manipulative figure. The narcissistic individual then assumes control, dismantling the once cherished aspects of your life simply because they can.

What transpires beneath this façade?

The pathological covert narcissist and similar variants systematically absorb your existence, leaving you feeling empty and depleted. They are masterful manipulators playing a zero-sum game. Lacking empathy, conscience, or moral integrity, they treat life as merely a contest. While they may feign attachment for years, their investment is superficial.

You may recognize the overtly abusive narcissist or the opportunistic player who disrespects their victims. However, not all narcissists exhibit such blatant behavior. Many covert narcissists can maintain their masks for decades, leading double lives filled with deceit. Their betrayal often goes unnoticed until it’s far too late.

They may harbor dark intentions without revealing any signs of danger, presenting a kind demeanor while they play their part in the ongoing drama.

In the 1970s, one of my early inspirations in psychological literature was Eric Berne's Games People Play. This work resonates when examining narcissistic behavior, as they engage in a multitude of manipulative games to derive satisfaction from the deception they enact.

Berne’s theories, alongside Claude Steiner’s insights from I’m Okay, You’re Okay, elucidate that human behavior is not random; instead, it follows recognizable patterns stemming from three ego states: Child, Parent, and Adult.

Top 10 Games Commonly Played by Narcissists:

• Let’s You and Him/Her Fight
• See What You Made Me Do (SWYMD)
• If It Weren't For You (IWFY)
• Look How Hard I've Tried (LHWIT)
• Why Don’t You… Yes, But (YDYB)
• Ain't it Awful and Poor Pitiful Me
• They'll Be Glad They Knew Me
• Humble Sage, Gifted Guru
• You Should Be Grateful for Everything I've Done
• Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch (NIGYSOB)

Each of these games embodies a sense of entitlement, grandiosity, evasion of accountability, and a tendency to manipulate others.

Berne states that disturbed individuals often play these games with greater intensity, and the narcissist embodies this notion fully. Their reality is steeped in their own fabrications, often blurring the lines between truth and fantasy. They perceive themselves as heroes in their narratives, trapped in a cycle of magical thinking.

In closing, it is crucial to discern whether individuals are acting from a place of genuine authenticity or merely playing a role in their personal game.

The ultimate strategy? Refuse to engage in their game. Walk away. They will inevitably manipulate the rules and employ deceitful tactics, and the cost of such a loss can be devastating.

Prajinta Pesqueda, Dublin, July 2024

If you find yourself impacted by someone with narcissistic personality disorder, consider visiting my website for a wealth of resources. Additionally, subscribe to my articles on Medium for ongoing support.

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Chapter 2: The Games Narcissists Play

The first video, "5 Mind Games Narcissists Play | Narcissistic Abuse," dives into the deceptive tactics employed by narcissists to manipulate their victims.

The second video, "5 Mind Games Narcissists Play," further explores the intricacies of these psychological manipulations, providing insight into their strategies.